Taking a little break

I started this new blog to talk about anything bead- related and as soon as I created it I find myself in the middle of a bead-drought. It's the strangest thing. I find myself sitting at my table, picking up my beads, moving them around all the while great ideas are racing through my mind faster than I can write them down but I cannot put needle to bead. I think I just need a little break. I have a Christmas list that I should've started months ago and now I am getting myself in a snit about making all the gifts. I thought... that's too bad because these gifts are made from my heart and I love to make them for my friends so now I am relaxing about it and enjoying the process. I decided to knit my gifts this year since I miss my knitting and needed a break from the beading anyway. If I don't finish them all, oh well.

Just as I was picking out my yarn again I was sitting outside on a beautiful, sunny morning reading one of Robin Atkin's books, Heart To Hands Bead Embroidery. I was looking to Robin for some inspiration as I am getting ready to join her Bead Journal Project. I began to read a section about Passion and whoa did it hit home. She described all the emotions I'm going through right now. Fear being the primary one. Procrastination. I started my first beaded collar a few months ago and I have this vision in my head of what I want it to look like but I am suddenly afraid to add more beads. I didn't recognize this fear as being the deep passion that I have to create the perfect piece until I read Robin's words. And I had to laugh when she said that you may take up knitting or go bead buying to deal with this frustrating problem. I needed to be told that it's o.k. to just bead on that collar and let it be whatever it will be. Even if it doesn't turn out to be the perfect vision I have in my head. How the heck did I let the joy of creating it get squashed by anxiety? Seems silly. I do get in my own way sometimes!

So I am taking this time to knit for the women friends that I love and in the process clear my head and work on accepting myself until I can sit back down with my beads and just do it with no inhibitions. I think it's good to do this as soon as I feel I am beating myself up over my artwork and in the end I know I will have a collar beaded with love: imperfect and fulfilling.

Thanks again, Robin, for lighting the way. This post went a little long so next time I'll write about what brought me to the Bead Journal Project and how excited I am to start my journey. In the mean time check it out for yourself at http:beadjournalproject.com. The website is eye candy and will surely peak your interest. Self-exploration is what beading is all about for me so this should be a great year!